This is me, the 27th of november 2014. Soon it’s one year ago and in retrospect I believe this is where it all started.
I lived in Lisbon and had just started to practice ashtanga yoga. Me and my best friend had decided that we needed to start facing our fears in our everyday life, do things out of our comfort zones, believing that by doing so we’ll grow, have new experiences and move forward. We even started a blog where we shared (just the two of us) what scary things we had done during the day. It could be anything from speaking in front of people in class, or acknowledge strange behaviors and things we do to fit in.
I was new to yoga and I had bought these supercool rainbow leggings and I was excited to use them. But I was also scared.
When you start your yoga practice one of the first things you’ll notice is just how much time you actually spend comparing yourself to others (this is an entire blog post in itself I will speak more about another day). All the time you keep looking at the practitioner next to you doing a really advanced pose. Or you look at someone not so flexible saying to yourself “Well I’m not that stiff at least”. All the time. Either you’re not good enough or you’re better than someone else. But it’s always in comparison to others, and it’s tiresome.
So going back to me and my friend’s face-your-fears-blog, I knew that because I was a bit uncomfortable using the rainbow leggings I knew that I had to wear them. When you start consciously being aware of your reactions towards certain stuff it’s easier to know where that feeling comes from and then act upon it. With my leggings situation for example, I knew that I was a bit afraid to use them because most people used plain black or grey yoga leggings for practice. It would be the easy way out to blend in and go for the black leggings.
So the 27th of november 2014, I took this photo in the bathroom of the yoga shala, so that I could later post it on our blog showing my friend that I had done it! I had, despite how scary it was, I decided do to what I wanted to do (use the super fun and colorful yoga leggings) even tough it was uncomfortable.
A lot of the things we did shared on the blog were small stuff (like maybe this leggings situation), but it created a sort of shift inside of you.
And it truly did. Looking back something happened that day. In a combination of doing things you were afraid to do, and from what you learn about yourself in yoga practice, I did the things I wanted to do no matter how small they were.
As time went by, all the small stuff combined later became something big and I decided that I wanted to go a different direction in life than I had before. And that’s the reason to why I am sitting here today with Puka, trying to do something completely new but also something I want to do. I don’t know where this will end, which is really scary most days, but I know I have to try.